There have been so many days, when I just look back at myself and the life I am living. Though most of the time I am satisfied and happy and generally content with what I have achieved so far, there are times when my inadequacies raise their ugly head and haunt me.

I’ve made some mistakes in my life. I think genetically all humans are programmed to make mistakes. The reason being that life is not something that can be programmed into the human mind and be ready to work out of the box. It is so dynamic and circumstantial. In one simply sentence – Life is Randomness. And mistakes form a major part the learning process. They just evolve into memories and latter become reference points or beacons that would titrate our emotional responses at similar circumstances. Some mistakes make us smile about our lack of maturity or our plain stupidity when we come across identical circumstances.

But there are some mistakes that you never seem to get over with. The ones that remind you of that one moment of madness where you could have done something else, or you could have done nothing, but instead you went on and did the one thing that you would think of so much pain for the rest of your life. These are the kind of mistakes whereby you don’t need circumstances to remind you of your foolishness, it just remains in the back of your mind throughout.

But one thing that I am proud of in this misery is that these few mistakes I had done in my life, I had put someone else’s life in front of mine and my decision was partially influenced by what I wanted to give them rather than what I had wanted. One typical example is the decision to go to the UK. Though I knew a PG here in India would have been an easier option, I chose to go abroad because my dad had always wanted me NOT to be like him. Not one day passes these days without the thought of what would have been if I hadn’t wasted 3 years in UK.

There is one more mistake that holds much importance in my life, but I wont discuss it here partly because its close to my heart and I would chose to die with it buried inside of me, and partly because, however bad the consequences had been to my life, the moment I made that decision was truly the moment of personal glory as a person, where I had put another person’s life before my love.

Over and out.